Monday, April 1, 2013

A is for Aliens - images of America

Where would be we without a good alien story!? The USA does these extremely well, including laying out the welcome mat in the form of a beer advertisement at a casino just outside Death Valley - where else would an inquisitive alien land? I think they leave the overhead light on in case they arrive after dark!
Of course, we're not talking about the sort of aliens who are people very much like ourselves. People who are treated as criminals in Australia because they come from a different, often war torn country, and are shoved unceremoniously into a remote detention centre for years without hope of being released. No welcoming beer for them.

No, these are the sort of aliens who are truly fearsome, and who can execute acts that we can only dream about. Like maintaining the same pose in the corner of a store for eternity... gathering dust and not sneezing! That'd give the game away immediately!
What struck me most during my visit to Alien Fresh in Baker wasn't the fabulous alien posters, wonderful as they are! Or even the fascinating newspaper articles - of course the story must be true if it's been published in the paper ... mustn't it?
or the heavily defended "Peace Patrol" car, complete with moving aliens whose toxic green heads seemed to follow you around as you walked past (although maybe I was becoming a tad paranoid?)
but the implication that aliens were being processed to become jerky. Surely not! that's not particularly welcoming imho.

In the picture below you'll notice the cheerfully waving aliens atop the store. They seem welcoming. Don't be taken in! In hindsight I suspect they're luring tourists inside and processing them into jerky ... I'm confident that more people went into the store than exited. If anyone is missing a relative or two, you could start your search here.

Jerky is a taste I haven't managed to acquire, although I plucked up the courage to nibble warily on a piece which resulted in a screwed up face and muffled, choking response somewhat along the lines of "you've got to be joking, this isn't food, it's used shoe leather and it pongs". Perhaps if it was made out of aliens it would taste better, though I doubt it ;-)


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