But I was wrong.
When I remembered my friends and family who hadn't marked the event, I realised it did matter to me. I'd felt a bit lost when people precious to me hadn't "done something" - something was missing, and I eventually acknowledged that I wanted to get together with others, raise a glass and acknowledge the important part they'd played in my life.
And if I thought that, then surely it was only fair to celebrate as I wished others had.
Okay ... but how?
Low key. Down to earth. What do I want to do with my life next? How would I like my wonderful friends and family to be involved?
I'd been dreaming of getting some advice about setting up a permaculture garden. We have a lacklustre garden, unproductive and a bit sad, so maybe ....?
Belatedly the invitations were sent out; the celebration set for afternoon tea, and gifts as such were discouraged - but a cutting, seeds or strike from my friends' own gardens would be wonderful! The logic - I enjoy giving gifts and would totally ignore a "no gifts" request, I assume others would too, so surely it's ok to acknowledge that and give a hint?
And it turned out to be the best, most fun birthday celebration I've ever had!
The little kid down the road was celebrating his birthday on the same day, and his parents had arranged for a jumping castle and a petting farm with baby animals to be set up in the front yard. Admittedly, this was a bit of a distraction for my guests, many of whom were somewhat envious. But who could argue that a scarecrow made especially for me trumps a jumping castle and cute animals any day! And the possibility of injured aged hips and ankles getting twisted with the unaccustomed leaping might have been a disaster waiting to happen.
Oh darn, time for a smidge more honesty - I wish I'd thought of a jumping castle! That would have been so much fun ;-)
But back to the adult party. Can you see in the photo? I received flowers, seeds, seedlings, snail bait, a self-sown bay tree, a subscription to The Diggers Club, books, vegetables and even chocolate (for after all the energetic gardening I'll be doing!)
And mounds of cards and an abundance of cherishing, loving hugs, comments and words and even a poem!
| Edinburgh. Ben Warner. |
I think what I'm trying to say in a somewhat clumsy manner is - many of us like to give, but we have trouble receiving. We shrug off compliments, we're flippant about our skills and talents. We pretend we're strong, even though we're crying inside. But sometimes it's important to slow down enough to let others show they care and bask in their love and revel in the luxury of their hugs.
And now, a question. How do you allow others to show they care?
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